Monday, June 1, 2009

Star of “Drag Me to Hell” celebrates premier at semi-famous Quincy eatery

Article by Brunk Edwards / Photo courtesy of the World Wide Web

Alison Lohman, star of Sam Raimi’s newest hit horror movie, Drag Me to Hell, celebrated the film's premier last Friday at Finian’s restaurant in Quincy Center.

Finian’s, a local food depository on Hancock Street, is famous for it’s reasonably priced entrees, tolerance of adult language and situations, and retarded amount of free refills on Shirley Temple drinks. These factors contributed to Lohman’s decision to choose Finian’s over Mann’s Chinese Restaurant in Los Angeles, and the famous sushi spot, Nobu, in Manhattan, which were all vying to host the premier.

Lohman arrived at 6:00PM in a stretched limo, which immediately blew a tire on a pile of broken glass left near the curb out in front of the restaurant. Spirits rose, however, when the wait for a table was revealed to only be “a coupla minutes.”

The cast and crew of the hit movie phoned Lohman from Los Angeles to wish her the best. “Sam’s a great guy,” said Lohman. “He was a little confused when I told him I was coming out here since they were all meeting up at Mann’s, but when I told him that this place had Wild Irish Rose on tap, he understood. The owner and staff of Finian’s appeared to be thrilled."

“No shit? Actress? Damn, nice one!” remarked Paul Bonkers, the head bartender in Finian’s “bar section." "I’ll probably check that shit out when it hits the Quincy theatre." Although the film is not scheduled to arrive in Quincy's infamous theatre for a number of years, Bonkers stated that he wouldn’t let his friends ruin the movie for him until he saw it himself.

Finian’s owner, Phil “Krazy Hercules” Finian, also had words about the event. “No shit? Paul’s still here? I thought I fired him two months ago? Oh, yeah that Allison chick is hot. I comped her a free Chicken Cordon Bleu with our trademark supreme sauce---whatever the hell that is---and a side of rice. You know, that vague rice that we serve that is kinda like rice pilaf?”

Lohman, relaxing between dinner and desert, signed autographs for the patrons who were sober enough to recognize her, and even remained calm when a grease fire erupted in the kitchen, setting off the building’s fire alarms. “The food was good. I love the free refills. It’s…nice to know the alarm system is up to date, too, I guess.”

Squinting in the near pitch black darkness of the restaurant's back booths, Lohman then ordered a “Wild and Wacky Vanilla Ice Cream Bowl” from the menu, which, as far as anyone could tell, was just two scoops of vanilla ice cream in a bowl. “I thought I’d go with desert and get the full experience. I’m still a little hungry and I made a couple million from that movie so I can definitely afford it. But even if I wasn’t in a hit movie, the prices here are very reasonable. And when the waitress dropped a bowl of pipin’ hot clam chowder on the floor, she immediately gave me another one and didn’t put it on the bill. It's those kind of little touches you don’t find in five-star restaurants." Smiling politely, the actress then put on her jacket as the room temperature dropped to a bone-chilling 39 degrees due to the industrial size air conditioners located throughout the room.


sweden said...

Nice to see some glamour coming to Quincy--

No Shirt Mikey said...

Anyone know when Drag Me To Hell is coming to Flagship Cinemas?
I can't wait to sneak in to the theatre off to the side there.
Maybe after the movie I'll head to Quincy Records & Tapes for a way over priced Pearl Jam bootleg.