Article by Beak Wilder / Photo courtesy of the World Wide Web
Henry Blood, a self-proclaimed funny man from Hough's Neck, was found beaten to death behind his Babcock Street home yesterday evening, authorities say.
Blood, who is most renowned for his ongoing gag, in which he pretends to eat a sandwich made out of a cantaloupe and two pieces of white bread, had just celebrated his 62nd birthday only two days prior, and had been getting his yard ready for an "insane barbecue" this upcoming Saturday.
"He had a lot of enemies," said Juanita Garcia-Blood, his wife of nearly thirty years. "He was constantly working on new material. The people in this neighborhood didn't seem to get his jokes. If you ask me, it could have been anyone."
While authorities have promised swift results, there are no leads at this time.
"As of this moment, we have virtually nothing to go on," remarked Officer Curtley Giraffe, a seasoned veteran who has patrolled the streets of Hough's Neck for over a decade. "What we have here is a guy who used to like to crack wise with people, an entire neighborhood that wanted to see him dead, and a murder scene that's so rigged with gags and props that nobody will even go near it."
Taking a moment to regain composure after stepping on a hidden whoopee cushion next to Blood's beaten and mangled corpse, Giraffe continued. "This is insane."
Authorities are asking anyone with information on Blood's murder to please come forward. There are no current rewards being offered at this time.
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