Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Tupac-Biggie feud revealed to have started in North Quincy watering hole

Article by Beak Wilder / Photo courtesy of the World Wide Web

In a so far developing story, Matt "Harpo" Doughty, a message board user from Germantown, has revealed his side of the infamous Tupac-Biggie feud, claiming its origins can be traced back to Quincy, Mass.

"It all started one night at Murphy's Twin Shamrocks in North Quincy," claimed Doughty. "I remember it like it was yesterday. Tupac was at the table across from me and he was ordering fajitas. I remember it clearly because he couldn't decide between chicken and steak, and was thrilled to find out that they offered a combination of the two. A few minutes later, Biggie Smalls showed up. He ordered the nachos, I believe, followed by two sides of mashed potatoes with extra butter, and then another order of nachos. Everything seemed to be going okay, but they were drinking these huge margaritas that this bartender, Tim, used to make, and they got into a huge argument over which side of the Dinosaur Jr. feud they fell on. Tupac was trying to tell Biggie how he sided with J Mascis, because he was the 'undisputed leader of the band', and Lou Barlow 'should have just shut up and played bass.' Biggie got furious when he heard that. He kept telling Tupac about how 'Lou Barlow was merely sticking up for himself,' and no matter who the leader was, 'there's only so much one person can take.' That's when the argument started to take a turn for the worse. After that, shit got seriously out of hand."

Nervously lighting a cigarette, Doughty continued to explain the events at the otherwise peaceful North Quincy bar. "Tupac stood right up in Biggie's face and said that Lou Barlow was an 'overly meek stoner dude who fears confrontation.' That didn't go over well with Biggie, not at all. 'Oh yeah?' Biggie screamed. 'Well, J Mascis is a tyrannical madman whose hair is prematurely graying due to the guilt he has from mistreating his bandmates'. And that was about all she wrote for Murphy's that night. At that point, everybody just got out of there as quick as they could. The entire way to my car, all I could hear was shouting and screaming. And then there were gunshots. After that, Tupac and Biggie never spoke to each other again, at least not as friends. The rest is just history."

No one knows yet if this is the first occurrence of a major celebrity feud starting in Quincy, although some speculate that most are, in fact, born in the City of Presidents. So far, the Quincy Scallion is the only news source to bring forth this shocking story. It is a story in which the facts are so undeniably believable that the only question left is whether, or not, this beautiful city could have stepped in and prevented a coastal hip-hop war that left two young artists dead.

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