Thursday, May 21, 2009

Another thriving West Quincy business closes in wake of falling economy, rising drug addiction

Article by Beak Wilder / Photo courtesy of a Nextel i580 cell phone

Yet another West Quincy business has called it quits in what is being referred to as the "shortest business venture since the recycled condom sales debacle of 1996." Mom & Pops Neighborhood Variety, which was located on the corner of Copeland Street and Cross Street, was open for business for approximately three hours and seventeen minutes before closing it's doors to the shame of the entire neighborhood. Becoming one of the most immediate failures Quincy has ever seen, the poorly planned corner store has caused local residents to wonder if West Quincy is simply out of ideas on how to compete in an age where ideas count the most.

"I have no idea why anyone would open a variety store up only a hundred feet from Copeland Package," said Tony Manchego, an out-of-work middleman from Suomi Road. "Copeland Package has everything you could ever need. That place is the most accommodating store I have ever done business in. They literally removed the entire laundromat portion of their business so they could find enough space to fit more alcoholic beverages. If a West Quincy resident needs to do laundry and buy liquor, but only has enough money to do one---trust me---they're buying the liquor."

Others from the area complained about the lackluster service Mom & Pops offered during it's short stay. "I went in there to buy a quart of milk and the dude was nodding off on the counter. That dude was definitely sniffin' bags out back, there's no way around it. I had to wake the dude up just to get him to cash me out. I took about ten steps out of there and, by the time I looked back, the place was already out of business. The fucking kid's still in there sleeping, too. He just keeps waking up every couple of hours to sniff more bags, it's fucking nasty. Somebody should put that kid in rehab, and maybe give him a little lesson on how and where to use apostrophes. This whole fucking town is going to shit."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you should be the next stephen king, you could do it-keep writing