Thursday, April 15, 2010

Egyptian immigrants settle into new life in Quincy

Article by Brunk Edwards / Photo courtesy of the World Wide Web

New residents moved onto Furnace Brook Parkway in the Wollaston section of Quincy this weekend, making things a little more exotic.

No, it wasn’t another wise-cracking parrot or a heroin-riddled vagabond; it was a family of Egyptian immigrants who moved to the United States for a fresh start and a crack at the American dream.

Abubakr al-Bundy, his wife Cleopatra and their four children unloaded their belongings in a 2nd floor apartment last Saturday to much fanfare from the local community, who were intrigued and amused by the family that had previously lived just outside of Cairo, Egypt.

“These guys are great!” announced James “Gum” Shoe, an unemployed cable television watcher, who lives in the apartment downstairs.

Taking a solid five minutes to drink the remainder of his Miller High Life 30-rack while the al-Bundys struggled to lift a couch up the front porch stairs, Shoe remarked that things "just got a little spicy around here.”

Neighbors from all corners of Furnace Brook Parkway spent the day getting to know the “new guys” and dropping off gifts.

Bobby Tuna, an immigrant originally from Brockton, expressed wonder at the family’s “go get ‘em” spirit. “Look at them move that furniture," Tuna remarked. "These fuckin’ pyramid-builders are alright by me, I'll tell ya!”

“Yeah, Quincy is a good choice. Egypt ain’t nothing but sand and statues of cats,” muttered old-timer Alf Nelson, who has resided at 100 Furnace Brook Parkway for over twenty years. Sadly, Mr. Nelson was killed only moments later when 3rd floor resident Bart Dinkus fired a box-spring mattress onto his skull in an attempt to throw it into a nearby dumpster.

Funeral arrangements will be handled by Bart Dinkus of Dinkus Discount Funeral Home sometime later this year.

When asked how his family is finding life in the City of Presidents, al-Bundy replied positively. “It’s nice. The community has really reached out to us.”

Abubakar, who can trace his bloodline directly back to Pharaoh Ramesses I, then collapsed as the large, marble kitchen table he attempted to carry up to his apartment by himself crushed his legs, resulting in one of the most horrifying Egyptian screams in recent Quincy memory.


Anonymous said...

anybody who lives on the furnace brook parkway is absolutely insane! most of them are my best friends, great bunch of guys.

Beak Wilder said...

I would never live on Furnace Brook Parkway.