Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mik Miller running out of ideas for disturbing facial tattoos, promises to make body "more extreme"


Article by Beak Wilder / Photo courtesy of the World Wide Web

Mik Miller, owner and proprietor of the Body Xtremes Tattoo and Piercing shop at 417 Hancock Street, is running out of ideas for disturbing facial tattoos.


Miller, who has a longstanding history of being the most ridiculous looking human alive, expressed hope that he would soon think of something, although appeared to be stuck in what friends and family described as a "creative stalemate."

"He's just out of ideas," claimed piercing apprentice Chuck Wellington.

Miller, who became Massachusetts' first licensed and registered body piercer in May of 1996, has a total of 3,986 tattoos, over half of which are above the neck.

"I don't even know what else he could get," Wellington added. "Just on his face alone, he already has a lobster, a crab, a scorpion, and countless spiders and insects. In the realm of disturbing images, that pretty much covers it."

While some believe Miller couldn't possibly offend the public with his display of facial recklessness any more than he already has, others tend to disagree.

"I know he can do it," one supporter remarked. "He'll think of something."

While the controversial piercing tycoon vows to maintain shock appeal in the Granite City by continuously making his body "more extreme," expert tattoo forecasters have been unable to predict the exact nature of his next tattoo. Theories on what this tattoo may be have ranged from a "dragon with gigantic testicles" to a "funky, breakdancing vulture," although none have been substantiated at this time.

6 comments:

Baloney No. 8 said...

One of the labels for this article is health, which I find hilarious.

I think deep inside Mik Miller lies a very damaged little boy with tremendously low self-esteem.

On a side note, I heard that he has 329 genital piercings.

Paul, Dammit! said...

I saw Mik a few months ago at Obey's Cafe over on Billings rd. Some of his facial tattoos are old and blurry. They look like blue spatter. It makes him look like he took a hammer to a smurf.

Anonymous said...

What was he thinking? I heard a lot of the older Asian folks in the area are scared to death of him. they call him "the Crazy Dragon man"

Anonymous said...

I also know that he has bareback sex with anonymous guys (bareback meaning unprotected sex) and l watched him take 3 guys load at one session. I don't think I want him sticking a tattoo gun in me thanks.

Oberbeakenf├╝hrer said...

Why did you watch him do that? And why are you commenting on Mik Miller articles on a Saturday at eight o'clock in the morning?

Who are you?

Anonymous said...

Haha so true same way his "brother doug" isnt really his brother they are a couple he lives a huge lie