Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Squantum's new television pilot to air next Thursday night on Quincy Access Television

Article by Beak Wilder / Photos courtesy of the World Wide Web

A new television pilot about the Squantum section of Quincy is set to air next Thursday night on Quincy Access Television.

The television series, which will be named Squantum Leap, will feature Squantum's own Matty Screwzlik as Dr. Leo Marvin, a scientist who becomes lost in time following a botched experiment.

There is no word yet on if the lead character has anything to do with the Dr. Leo Marvin from Bill Murray's hilarious action-adventure, What About Bob?, although it is expected to be merely a coincidence.

Also on the list of regulars is Squantum's unofficial mayor, Jacia Hearn, who will co-star as Al, Leo's womanizing, acid-dropping sidekick and best friend, who will appear to Leo as a hologram that only he and a select group of people can see.

Matty Screwzlik and Jacia Hearn, who will head the cast in QATV's Squantum Leap.

"We have a lot of really great ideas for this show," remarked executive producer Jemma Hanshee, who co-wrote the script. "The entire pilot is going to be about how Dr. Leo Marvin gets lost in time after a science experiment goes wrong, and the only thing left for him to do is to just keep bouncing around through different times, trying to have sex with every Squantum girl that ever existed. This is really original stuff. To my knowledge, nobody has ever even attempted to film a show like this."

But the new television show is not without controversy, as a scene where Dr. Leo Marvin tries to convince a young girl to let him use a "Clash City Rockers" 7-inch as a condom has many parents on edge.

"We don't need television programs like this on public access," barked Mary Ellen Bellevue, a part-time Avon saleswoman and former owner of Bellevue Road. "It's hard enough raising three daughters in this world. I really don't need a half dozen grandchildren running around my house because my whore kids were under the impression that it was okay to have unprotected sex, just because some piece of shit Squantum kid says he'll stick his dick through a fucking Clash single."

Quincy Access Television has so far made no public apology in regards to Mrs. Bellevue's concerns, although did promise to send her a Delicious Daisy® bouquet from Edible Arrangements if she promised to keep any future comments to herself.

Squantum Leap will air next Thursday at 8:00PM on Quincy Access Television.

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