Friday, November 6, 2009

Quincy goes international as Dee Dee's Lounge announces opening of dive bar in Hong Kong

Article by Brunk Edwards / Photo courtesy of the World Wide Web

In a stunning turn of events, former Wollaston watering hole, Dee Dee’s Lounge, has relocated to the Wah Lei Stun district of Hong Kong in a bold and brazen attempt to “turn the tables" on the things. By openly treating it’s long term business goals like a 4th grade game of checkers, the infamous beer depository has upped the stakes in the non-existent rivalry of authentic Chinese cuisine and authentic, unlicensed Quincy drunk-tanks.

Buck Tooth, the muscle relaxer popping owner of Dee Dee’s Lounge, has personally vowed to make his establishment a 24-hour “pain in the ass” to the entire Wah Lei Stun neighborhood.

“You wanna kick us out of our spot?" Tooth said. "Well, we’ll see what happens. I sold my house and most of my neighbor’s house to bring the entire Dee Dee’s Lounge building over to Hong Kong. We’re going to be open twice as late, have twice as many bad hardcore bands play, have twice as much puke on the sidewalk outside, and have roughly six times more Nowhere USA stickers on the streetlights outside. That’s a promise you can take to the bank, four-eyes!”

While it’s too early to tell if the bar will thrive in it’s new surrounds, locals who were interviewed remained highly optimistic. “Very good,” mumbled Zhang O’Douls, between slugs of counterfeit Evan Williams. Pausing briefly to vomit on his bootleg Shot Dead t-shirt, O’Douls was heard to whisper to no one in particular that “white people are pouring into this neighborhood and stealing all of our bartending jobs.”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is even better than what they did at hiroshima