Monday, April 27, 2009

Multiple cases of Swine Flu reported in Quincy, all turning out to be normal hangovers

Article by Beak Wilder / Photo courtesy of the World Wide Web

Reports of a Swine Flu breakout in Quincy, Mass. have caused a great deal of panic among the locals, although it appears that all cases have been determined to be related to hangovers from this past weekend.

"I felt like crap when I woke up," said Paul McGranite, a wealthy investor from the Quincy-Milton border. "I was dehydrated, my head hurt, and I totally didn't feel like going to work. Then I heard about the Swine Flu, and that's when I started to panic."

Quincy Medical Center, as well as private practices, were swarmed with telephone calls from nervous citizens, all describing similar symptoms. Upon further inspection of these patients, combined with a joint effort to properly communicate between departments and offices in the Quincy area, doctors were able to diagnose all reported cases as normal veisalgia, or, in other words, a hangover.

For the most factual and up-to-date information on Swine Flu: Wikipedia


Anonymous said...

Suey..................that's some story!

JeninQuincy said...

'I thought I had the swine flu!"

Anonymous said...

Ace. Cover yer koff.