Mosquito control in Quincy causes mass hysteria among homeless at local shelter

Article by Beak Wilder and Brunk Edwards / Photo courtesy of the World Wide Web

Recent sightings of a helicopter flying through the Broad Street area of Quincy has caused mass hysteria among the locals, especially within the homeless community at Father Bill's Place. Reports on the City of Quincy's homepage have stated that these helicopters, which are part of the Norfolk County Mosquito Control Project, will be flying at "tree top level", until April 24th, applying larvicide chemicals to the area around Broad Meadows Marsh. "Extensive testing," the report follows. "Shows that microbial larvicides do not pose risks to wildlife, non-target species, or the environment, when used according to label directions." As to whether, or not, the city plans on using these microbial larvicides according to label directions, it does not say. I, of course, have my suspicions.

Reactions to the helicopter's presence ranged from confusion to absolute panic. Those who knew why the helicopter was there, debated its purpose, stating that the forceful removal of mosquitos was unnatural and unnecessary. "Once Mayor Koch removes these homeless people," said Brian Prefontaine, 23, of Adams Shore. "Those mosquitos are gonna naturally fly south for the summer, right?" Those who knew nothing about it appeared to be completely bewildered by the situation, some of them coming up with ideas and theories of their own. "I had no idea why it was flying so low," said Jeff, 48, a local homeless man who has lived at Father Bill's Place for the past two years. "I thought it was gonna end up getting caught up in a power line, like in the end of Die Hard With a Vengeance. I honestly didn't know why it was there though. At first I thought it was the news, or something like that, but then I saw how it had big containers on the side of it. That's when everybody started freaking out. In all my years on the street, it was probably one of the craziest things I've ever seen. And I've gone down on dudes for crack." Previous reports on Father Bill's Place have disclosed the fact that at least one male resident washes his testicles in the bathroom sink, in front of the other residents. No link between this and the Norfolk County Mosquito Control Project has been brought to the attention of the media, although the possibility of a link is there.

Other theories included the possibility of deadly toxins being dispersed into the air. "Something about what they're doing isn't safe," said Dan Lafonte, 34, a service advisor at a nearby car dealership. "Every single one of those dudes at Father Bill's Place completely lost control of their bodily functions as soon as that helicopter started spraying. Even if only half of them did, I would have just assumed that it was a normal day. But when everybody loses control of their bodily functions, you know something's not right. They're putting something in the air that shouldn't be there, and they're acting like it's no big deal."

The PDF file made available by the city states that the EPA claims microbial larvicides are "virtually non-toxic to humans," however, those without access to programs, such as Adobe Acrobat Reader, were left to make their own determinations.

Download: Mosquito Control in Quincy (PDF File)